Beggar: Sir, give me $ 2 alms.
Passer-by: I gave you $ 2 a little while ago.
Beggar: Forget the past. This is the condition of the country as you are brooding over the past.
The post Remembering the Past – Funny Beggar Jokes appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Beggar : Sir, please give me one dollar.
Gentleman : Come tomorrow.
Beggar : Around $ 10,000 are due in this area for this tomorrow’s fact.
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Help seeker : Please give me some soney.
Help provider : Okay, take this money , buy something to eat from the shop. However, what is the cause behind your misery?
Help seeker : I was also like you. I used to give money to whoever would beg for.
The post Cause of Misery. appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Beggar : Sir, please give me 2 bucks …. I’ll take a cup of tea.
Gentleman : You’re alone, at least two cups of tea will be available at 2 bucks.
Beggar : Actually, I am not alone. My girlfriend will also take tea with me.
Gentleman : Wow! Not a single penny in your pocket, live by begging, yet have got a girlfriend !!
Beggar : No, sir. The girlfriend was with me beforehand. It’s she who got me down to this path.
The post My Girlfriend Brought Me Down To This Path – Funny Beggar Jokes appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Madam in the mathematics class ask to the students, “There were three birds in a tree. A hunter shot one to dead. How many birds will left there?”
The first boy of the class Laltu said, “Ma’am, none will stay because all will fly away by hearing the sound of shooting.”
Then Madam said, “Look, Laltu, this is Mathematics class. So, two birds will remain after one down among the three. However, your idea seems pretty good to me.”
Standing up, Laltu said, “Ma’am, I have a question as well.”
Madam said, “Ask.”
Laltu said, “Three girls were eating ice-cream sitting in a park. One girl was having it biting, one licking and one chewing. Who was married among the three, Ma’am?”
Being blushed in shy, Madam thought that she would have to be embarrassed before the students if she failed to answer the question.
So, she said, “Look, Laltu, the girl who was chewing ice-cream was married.”
After that, Laltu said, “No, Ma’am, you are wrong. The girl who had vermilion on her forehead was married. Yet, your idea also sounded good to me.”
The post How To Identify a Married – Funny School Jokes appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
A few days ago, a beautiful girl asked me if I wanted to see a movie…
She asked, “What would you like to see?”
I said, “You pick”.
She said, “You pick”.
I said, “I don’t care, you pick”.
She said, “Sir, there are other people waiting in line to buy tickets.”
The post A Pretty Girl Asked Me to Watch a Movie. appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Mr. Donald is a big miser. One day his friend Mr. Pence appeared in his house.
Pence: Donald, I’ve come to your house, won’t you feed me anything?
Donald: Tell me what do you want to eat, cold or hot?
Pence: Bring them. I’ll drink both.
Donald screamed: Where are you, Alfred? Fetch a glass of cold water from the refrigerator and a glass of hot water from the oven!
The post Cold or Hot ? – An Entertaining Jokes About a Miser. appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
TV Reporter : Excuse me, may I take an interview of you?
Man : Yes!
TV Reporter : Name?
Man : Aaron S Benjamin.
TV Reporter : Sex?
Man : Four to six times a week.
TV Reporter : No, no! I mean male or female?
Man : Yes, male, female… sometimes camel.
TV Reporter : Holy cow!
Man : Yes, cow, sheep… animals in general.
TV Reporter : But isn’t that hostile?
Man : Yes, horse style, dog style, any style.
TV Reporter : Oh dear!
Man : No, no deer. Deer runs too fast. Hard to catch.
The post One Day A TV Reporter Interviewed a Man !!! appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Teacher : Ethan, what did you do during recess?
Ethan : I played in the sand box with Olivia.
Teacher : Wow! If you can spell ‘sand’ on the board, you get a chocolate!
Ethan does and gets his reward.
Teacher : Olivia, what did you do during recess?
Olivia : I played in the sand box with Ethan.
Teacher : That’s great! If you can spell ‘box’ on the board, you get a chocolate!”
Ethan does and gets a chocolate.
Teacher : Jalal, what did you do during recess?
Jalal : I tried to play with Olivia and Ethan, but they just threw rocks at me!
Teacher : Oh my! That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can spell ‘blatant racial discrimination’ on the board, you get a chocolate!
The post Spelling Quiz in a Classroom After Vacation – Racist Jokes. appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
A newly married couple set a code word ‘Washing Machine’ for sex. In one night the husband said,”Washing Machine”. Wife replied,”Not tonight sweetheart, I’ve an headache today.” Half an hour passed and the wife felt guilty, so she said,”Washing Machine”. The husband replied,”Too late, it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand!”
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Husband and Wife went to a disco party. There’s a guy on the dance floor was dancing like a king – moon walking, break dancing, head spins and so on.
The wife turned to her husband and sighed, “You see that man? 25 years ago he asked me to marry him and I said no.”
Husband said, “Yep, it looks like he’s still celebrating!!”
The post Husband and Wife Went to a Disco Party. appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Son came to his father’s office —
Son : Dad, I was passing by this way, just came here to say you ‘hello’.
Dad : No benefit, a few minutes earlier your mom came here to say me ‘hello’. ( By saying this he showed his empty wallet !)
The post Empty Wallet – Office Jokes appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Within a few minutes an airplane was about to crash. There were four passengers on board, but only three parachutes.
The first passenger : I am Russel Westbrook, the best basketball player. The Oklahoma city and my millions of fans need me, so I can’t afford to die.
He took the first pack and jumped out of the plane.
The second passenger, Donald Trump : I am the newly-elected U.S. President, and I am the smartest president in American history, so my people don’t want me to die.
He took the second pack and jumped out of the plane as well.
The third passenger, the Pope, said to the fourth passenger, a 10 year-old schoolboy : My son, I am old and I don’t have very many years left, you have plenty of years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.
The little boy : That’s okay, Your Holiness, there’s a parachute left for you. America’s smartest president took my schoolbag.
The post I’m The Smartest President In the History. appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
A passenger aircraft is flying around 35 thousand feet high with 220 passengers. Suddenly the pilot started laughing out loud. The laugh is heard by all through microphone. A passenger went to the cockpit quickly and asked, “Why are you laughing like this ?”
Pilot : I wonder ! what will be the situation, when the doctors, nurses and guards of the asylum will be able to feel that I’ve escaped.
The post What Will Be the Situation ? appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Intelligent Man + Intelligent Woman = Romance
Foolish Man + Intelligent Woman = Love
Intelligent Man + Foolish Woman = Pregnant
Foolish Man + Foolish Woman = Marriage
The post Math between Man and Woman appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Manager : Hello, whom do you want ….. Mr. Robin ? He has gone for launch with his wife.
Mrs. Robin : Is it ? Please tell him that his private secretary made him a phone call !
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Two friends have gone for hunting in a forest. Suddenly they saw a footprint of a tiger. One friend whispered to other, ” Go forward to see where the tiger has gone and I’m going to the backward to see from where the tiger has come.”
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Three fathers are talking about their sons career….
1st Father : My son is doing well in his business and has earned a lot of properties and money. He earned as much as he has gifted a house to one of his friend in the last month.
2nd Father : My son also earned a lot by doing business. He also gifted an expensive hotel suit to one of his friend in the last month.
3rd Father : Although my son is not a business man , he has earned a huge and is in a good position in his career. Also the income and earning is so good that he gifted a Jaguar car to one of his friend.
Meanwhile another friend of these three fathers has presented on there. The three fathers asked their friend about his son’s career.
4th Father : (Angrily said) Please don’t ask about that scoundrel . He has destroyed my honor. He is a gay.. but the income and earnings are not bad. In the last month he has being a owner of a house, a Presidential suit and a Jaguar car !
The post The Income and Earnings are not Bad ! appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
In a restaurant a customer is drinking tea….
Customer : Hey waiter, why the dead fly is in the bottom of my cup.
Waiter : I think the fly don’t know how to swim !
The post Why the Dead Fly is in The Cup ? appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Customer : Hey waiter ! Look the condition of this chicken roast, there’s nothing more than skin and bone in it.
Waiter : Yes Sir, we always remove the feathers first.
The post The Condition of the Chicken Roast. appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Customer : Waiter, why are the kebabs are looking small nowadays ?
Waiter : Sir, please don’t mind. This your optical illusion. Since we enlarge our restaurant, everything looks small in the eyes.
The post The Kebabs are Looking Small . appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Waiter : Sir, how is the food of our restaurant ?
Customer : Good, delicious like lip licking, but… .
Waiter : But, what Sir ?
Customer : But, after receiving the bill, it is lip biting !
The post Lip Licking and Lip Biting. appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Doctor : Now tell me, what is your problem ?
Patient : I’m worried about my future.
Doctor : I’ll cure you within one year. You’ve to pay $100 in every month as fees.
Patient : Ok, now your future has assured, but what’s about mine…. ?
The post Doctor, I’m Worried about my future . appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Question : Which is More Harder Than the Diamond ?
Answer : Try to pay the bill for this .
The post Which is More Harder Than Diamond ? appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Husband sent a text to his wife, “Hi I will get late, please wash all my dirty clothes and please prepare my favorite dish before I return.”
He sent another text, “I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary and at the end of the month I’m getting you a new car”
Wife text back, “Omg really ?”
Husband Replied, “No, I just wanted to make sure that you got my 1st message.”
The post Wife Got a Text Message From his Husband. appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
A girl came skipping to home from school one day…
Daughter : Mommy, Mommy, we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 !
Mom : Very good.
Daughter : Is it because I’m blonde ?
Mom : Yes, it’s because you’re blonde.
The next day the girl came skipping to home from school….
Daughter : Mommy, mommy, we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to G, but I said it to N. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L M, N !
Mom : Very good.
Daughter : Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy ?
Mom : Yes, it’s because you’re blonde.
The next day the girl came skipping to home from school…
Daughter : Mommy, Mommy, we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these ! (She lifted her tank top to reveal a fully developed chest ).
Mom : Very good !
Daughter : Is it because I’m blonde, mommy ?
Mom : No Honey, it’s because you’re 18 !
The post Mommy, is it because I’m blonde ? appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Two friends are talking….
Boltu : You know, my grandfather is a brave man. He went to the jungle of Africa in the last summer and suddenly confronted by a tiger.
Montu : Really ! After return he must be applauded by everyone ?
Boltu : I did not say that he came back.
The post Grandfather Went to the Jungle of Africa appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
In court, the trucking company’s lawyer was questioning a farmer named Donald…
Lawyer : Didn’t you say, at the moment of the accident, ‘I’m fine.’
Donald : Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the…
Lawyer (interrupted) : I did not ask you for any details, just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?’
Donald : Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road…
The lawyer (interrupted again) : Judge, I’m trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the highway patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.
By this time the judge was fairly interested in Donald’s answer and said to the lawyer “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie.”
Donald thanked the judge and proceeded :
Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving down the highway when this huge semi-truck ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. When the highway patrolman came on the scene he could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her and saw her near fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, ‘How are you feeling?’
Now what the fuck would you say?
The post What The F**k Would You Say Now ? appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Two friends are talking..
1st Friend : I would like to give something to Angela for valentines day. Please tell me what should I give ? I wanna give her such a thing which she would like very much.
2nd Friend : Angela likes you ?
1st Friend : Too much.
2nd Friend : You can give her anything. It’s clear that Angela’s tastes and preferences are not so good.
The post The Taste is Not So Good. appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Two friends are talking…
1st Friend : Girls are like examination of school to me .
2nd Friend : Why ?
1st Friend : Complex, not easily understood, a lot of questions, the answers are always doubtful !
The post Girls are Like Examination. appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Son : Oh ! Why not the size of apple be equal to the size of watermelon .
Dad : Why are you thinking like this ?
Son : I can’t memorize the law of gravity by any means !
The post The Apple Size Should be Equal to the Size of Watermelon. appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
1st Friend : The price of everything in the world has increased but why hasn’t the price of kerosene risen?
2nd Friend : The condition of the whole world is kerosene, so there’s no reason to increase… .
The post The Condition of the World is ‘Kerosene’. appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Rocky : Hey friend, I’m going on vacation to Hawaii. Could you please give me a good book which is full of excitement, mystery and adventure that I can spend a great vacation.
Boltu : Ok, Take this book. Its very exciting and mysterious. The excitement is that – you would not able to understand first, who killed the father of the hero. You’ll be know at the last page that the murder is committed by the gardener !!
The post The Book is Very Exciting and Mysterious ! appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
Harry : What is your younger brother doing now ?
David : A few days ago he opened a clothing store, now he is in jail .
Harry : Why ?
David : Because he opened that shop by breaking the door with a hammer !!
The post Open a Shop or Store – Tell this to your Friends. appeared first on Funny Jokes of The Day.
